NOTICE BOARD

News

The PIGS Open took place at Nizels Golf Club on Friday, August 25th. A fine summers day was in store for the golfers.

In the morning a team event was played over 9 holes. The winning team was Craig Hendleman, Andy Mitchell & Graham Mattocks.

The afternoon format was an individual Stableford over 18 holes.

Longest drive was won by Nick Stell. Nearest the pin went to Kevin Kelly.

The Cecil Cup for the best 22 and above handicapped player was awarded to Graham Mattocks. Graham scored 36 points, playing off a handicap of 26. Graham was also runner up for the PIGS Open trophy.

The PIGS Open was won by Nick Stell with 37 points, playing off a handicap of 10.

Nick Stell is awarded the PIGS Cup by joint organiser, Neil Thorn.

Nick Stell also won the Honeybye trophy for the best gross score of the day.

Well done to Nick and all the other winners.

Thanks to Neil Thorn & Len Horwood for organising the event. Thanks also to the staff at Nizels Golf Club.

The next event for the PIGS Shield will take place on 21st September at Highwoods Golf Club. Kevin Kelly is organising the days event.

Enquiries about becoming a member or to find out more about us, contact:-

Brian Hope 01424830518 or Nick Stell 01424830284

Find out about the history and details of the Stableford competition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Caddy Responses

Golfer; "That can't be my ball, it's too old."

Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

Spanish Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain ..

While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling,
scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Si senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'


The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor.

There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said,'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor.
Sometimes the bull wins."

Tim & Janice met on a singles cruise and Tim fell head over heels for her. They discoverered they lived in neighbouring towns only a few miles apart. Tim was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Tim had taken Janice to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies and museums. Tim became convinced that Janice was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Tim took Janice to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their starter, Tim said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage"

"So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life-changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Janice took a deep breath and responded, "Tim, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too. However, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

"Oh wow! I see", Tim replied. He looked down at the table, was quiet for a moment. Deep in serious thought he added, "You know, its probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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