The PIGS Cup competition was held at Nizels on Friday 12th April.

A bitterly cold, but dry day was in store for the golfers.

In the morning a team competition was played over 9 holes. The teams of Graham Mattocks, Foros Kalakoutis, Ian Townend and Jon Beadle were the winners.

The afternoon, individual Stableford Competition, was played over 18 holes.

Nearest the pin prize was won by Foros Kalakouitis. The longest drive prize went to Colin Simmons.

Several good scores were seen. Foros Kalakoutis scores 31 points, playing off a handicap of 23. Craig Hendleman scored 33 points, playing off a handicap of 9.

Third place player was Neil Dyer. Neil scored 35 points, playing off a handicap of 12.

Runner up for the day's event was Paul Suggitt. Paul scored 36 points, playing off a handicap of 15.

The overall winner and recipient of the PIGS Cup was Andy Mitchell. Andy scored 37 points, playing off a handicap of 28. Andy also wins The Cecil Cup trophy.This is awarded to the best 22 and over handicapped player on the day.

Andy Mitchell recieving the PIGS Cup from Paul Suggitt.

Congratulations to Andy and all of the other prize winners.

Thanks to Paul Suggitt for organising the event and to Nizels Golf Club.

Our next fixture is the Claret Jug on 31st May at Willingdon. Neil Thorn is in charge of the arrangements.

Our diary has been updated. The PIGS Shield at Woldingham will be on 20th September. Colin Simmons organising.

The Golfers Trophy in October will be at Royal Ashdown Forest. Date to be advised. Alan Queree in charge.

For more details of the Plough Inn Golf Society contact:-

Brian Hope 01424830518 or Nick Stell 01424830284

Find out about the history and details of the Stableford competition.


































Caddy Responses

Golfer; "That can't be my ball, it's too old."

Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

Spanish Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain ..

While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling,
scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Si senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor.

There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said,'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor.
Sometimes the bull wins."

Tim & Janice met on a singles cruise and Tim fell head over heels for her. They discoverered they lived in neighbouring towns only a few miles apart. Tim was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Tim had taken Janice to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies and museums. Tim became convinced that Janice was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Tim took Janice to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their starter, Tim said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage"

"So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life-changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Janice took a deep breath and responded, "Tim, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too. However, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

"Oh wow! I see", Tim replied. He looked down at the table, was quiet for a moment. Deep in serious thought he added, "You know, its probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball".